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Oh shit... I saw Saw! [14 Nov 2004|07:36pm] [ mood | anxious ] Oh wow..... Ok, this movie was something that I've never seen in my life. I mean, in all honesty, I really don't freak out too much over a movie, (Signs doesn't count!) but this freakin thing got to me. You can ask Jessica. It's like we had the exact same reaction. Basically the movie is about these two guys who are locked up in a DISGUSTING bathroom. One of them is a doctor who has a wife and a daughter. The bad guy has his family and if he doesnt kill the other man in the room by 6:00 his family will be killed. Throughout the movie there are so many gory scenes that reflect back to the bad guy's previous victims. Now I have to tell you, it's some really sick stuff. Jessica and I could barely breathe when we left the theatre. I CAN NOT tell you the ending because its so messed up. This movie is really good, and it almost disturbs me that I can actually think that, but its true. I just find it really hard to believe that someone could actually think this kind of stuff up and put in a movie. Anyway, yes, this movie is highly recommendable but ONLY if you can handle the gore. Good luck. 1 talk bullshit

The End [14 Aug 2004|09:42pm] I don't know why, I don't understand. It's over. He broke up with me. I can't even explain. I can't even think. Two years together. He thinks that I cheated on him with David. I swear I never ever even touched David. I told him a thousand times/ But he still wouldn't believe me. I beeged him not to leave me. I told him I would give him the world, anything he wanted. But he looked at me like I was nothing. I begged him. I even went down on my knees, pleading for him to believe me. But he would not listen. I don't know what more I can do. I feel like dying. I am so sad and alone. I cant breathe without him/ I tried to drink myself to sleep, but I can't forget the look in his eyes. He hates me. He hates me for something I never did............ Oh God..... Please Lord, I need help. I need him. Please, help me God. I can't live without him. 3 talk bullshit

Pikestaff [25 Jul 2004|08:56pm] [ mood | devious ] Hey Courtney and I are having birthdays this month. Maybe we could celebrate them both together or something. Just a thought. Anyway, school's gonna start and I'm not too excited. This means less money for me because of the hours at work it cuts off. But anyway now I'm seriously not gonna have any kind of life at all because I'm gonna be working weekends non-stop. Oh well, I'll always have vodka in the fridge. =] So being a senior is gonna be great. I have easy classes. (Unlike Jill, who is crazy for having so many AP classes. Girl you need a life. =] j/k. I love you *wink*) I'm getting my hair done. I'm trying to get it to be how it was at the begining of sophmore year. Dark with mohagony streaks. But hopefully the streaks won't turn blonde again! Ack!! Blah. I love you Courtney! Forever yours, Jazmin 5 talk bullshit

The little idiot on my shoulder [07 Jun 2004|08:57pm] [ mood | sad ] Ok.... Well I have an idiot on my shoulder. This little person is seriously pissing me off. I know what I have to do. I know that if I don't do this, I will get hurt over and over again. But then that idiot on my shoulder starts talking again. "You can't let go! This is your life. Just accept it. Besides, you'll never find another person like him." I try to cover him up with a pillow, but I can't smother him. I try to flood him with my tears, but he rides the waves with ease. I try to block him out with screams, but his voice continues, louder now. "You have not seen it with your own eyes. What if it's not true? Don't make the biggest mistake of your life. You know he loves you. And anyway, if something did happen, it's all your fault. You're not good enough." I keep crying, keep fighting. But in the end it's useless. He has won again. 2 talk bullshit

The simple things.... [14 Apr 2004|08:26pm] [ mood | numb ] Good Morning Mommy Good Morning Mommy What do I lack? A quick slap in the face? Or a sharp stab in the back? To watch my destruction Is all that you seek To visit my grave Would be so neat So hit me some more Beat me til I die Then freak out on everyone And tell them all a lie "I don't know how it happened" Is all that you will say But in your mind you will think That this was a good day Jealousy And Paranoia My Darling Desire Our passion Your fire I love you so mu- Wait, what was that? Did you just wink at her? That skank in the back? Don't you lie to me I just saw you Licking your lips Watching her hips Wishing I'd dissapear I know I'm not perfect But neither is she What the fuck is your problem? Hey... look at me! I've given you everything She can't even compare To the things I have done To the things that I share Liar! Liar! This feeling hurts This pain inside A burning ride You don't care Still you stare Excuse me While I cut myself Pretending its her Wishing it was you You say its not true You say you love me But I'm not blind I can see Yes it hurts But I'm okay Because that bitch Was dead the next day. Just a few old poems I wrote. Goodnight, sleep tight. 5 talk bullshit

Prom + Me = Not Happening [02 Apr 2004|06:12pm] ----- 7 months ago ----- "Bobby, I know that you're going to be gone next year. I know that we're never going to see each other and you won't be here to take me as a senior to homecomming, military ball, or even prom. I don't really care about homecomming or military ball. All I really want is a prom with you." "Baby, I understand, and I promise you we will go to prom this year, no matter what." ...............Yeah Right. He did promise me. I know that he doesn't like to dress up in a tux. I understand that it makes him uncomfortable. But just how many times have I sacrificed for him? Couldn't he give me this one night? Now everyone is talking about prom tommorow. I'm going to be at home while Bobby has fun. My night is ruined. I won't be able to go next year. I don't want to go alone. I know what you might be thinking. People ask me all the time. "Why do you stay with him?" The truth is, I don't know. Love is so blinding. I've turned into a fool. I'm doing things I never would have thought of doing before. I just don't want him to be unhappy with me. What if he decides to cheat on me? I don't want to be the cause of our break-up. So the only thing I can do is suck it up and move on. I know it's stupid and naive but I really can't see myself without him. Prom isn't that big of a deal anyway..........right? 2 talk bullshit

Blah Blah Blah! [01 Apr 2004|07:58pm] [ mood | blah ] Ok. First entry: Well, life is rough for everyone. Of course I understand that, but sometimes I wish that the devil would just leave me alone for a minute so I can catch my breathe. Why does it always seem to be one problem after the other? If it's not my boyfriend, its my car, if not that, then it's family, or school, or friends, or the bitch that i ran into. Can you believe she actually wants me to pay for her medical bills?? My little dodge neon was a mess while her SUV was left with a small scratch, which i am also paying for! I barely hit her and now she is complaining about neck injuries. I hope one day to catch her down a dark alley so I can end her misery. Ok..... well, one day at a time, right? 2 talk bullshit

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